Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m still hangin on there.  Not quite sure how, but I am.  I was so fierce and impassioned when I began this final attempt.  Nonetheless, the devil on my shoulder remains a nuisance.  I’ve got about 7 days left of 21mg patches.  The question I have for myself is do I stay on that strength as reduce as planned.  For this, I may call a quit coach.

Took a break.  Still haven’t smoked a cigarette in about 358 hours.  That’s it really?  Today was a victory.  Several times today and yesterday I was tempted and considered that one puff.  Today was especially rough.  Several times I started rationalizing why it might be alright.  Well, in response, here are some reasons why I shouldn’t take just one puff.

Money:  I’ve saved about $112.50 by not buying cigarettes.  Also, I now pay less for health insurance.

Health:  I can breathe better.  I hack up less stuff. Starting to hack up some dark shit that I know has been sitting in my lungs for the last couple of years.  I’ve been thinking of running.  i hate running 🙂  But it would certainly force that nastiness to the surface a lot faster.

Chloe:  I have been able to spend uninterrupted time with Chloe.  I took her to the library and didn’t need  to lure her outside or to suffer unduly the call of the nicotine.  I just stayed in the library with her for 2 and a half hours without plotting an exit strategy based off that habit.  Each day, each moment with her will be forever changed because there will never be a situation where a cigarette comes between us.